Panty Hierarchy

Having my in-laws around is very helpful... sometimes too helpful. My MIL figured she'd fold the laundry since she wasn't doing anything. This is after I told her she didn't have to... really. But she did anyway figuring I was just being polite. No, really, please don't fold the laundry. For one, I have to refold what she already folded so that they fit in the drawers right. And two, I'm not too comfortable about my MIL (and possibly my FIL) folding my undergarments.

When I saw the neat pile of clothes, I dutifully said thank you and took the load of fresh laundry upstairs to my room. As I started sorting the clothes and putting them away in the appropriate drawers, I came across the pile of undergarments... namely, my underwears. I quickly looked through them to make sure none were going to bring any embarassment. Although, at this point, it's already too late.

This led me to the all important panty hierarchy.

First on the list are the sexy panties. You usually have a matching bra that go with it. They make you feel all nice and feminine no matter what you're wearing on the outside. They are usually of silky, lacey, or sheer material... at least from what I can remember because the last time I wore them was before I had Elisa which was oh... 4 years ago. I don't think I can even fit into them anymore with the way my body has morphed over the years. Yes, it's not just my tummy that's grown and taken life of it's own but my hips and thighs as well.

Next are the everyday panties. Nothing to write home about so there's nothing more to write here. I usually buy them from Victoria Secret or at a dept store... mix and match type of purchase. Buy 3 for $20 or something like that.

Comfy granny underwear. These are the kind my grandmother would approve of. The kind you wear when you know you're going to be doing a lot of moving around and no matter what yoga position you're in, you never get a wedgie. Usually comes in a pack of 3 or so.

Emergency underwear. They start off in the everyday panties category but after one too many wears, you see the wear and tears. Not so much tears because that would be just ghetto if you still wore them but the elastic is not as tight as they once were. Or, they're practically new but has a slight bleach stain because you keep pouring the bleach onto the clothes rather than in the water before putting your clothes in... or worse, other stains that Tide can't seem to get rid of. You know you should have thrown them away. Really. After each wear, I think to myself I better throw them away but I forget to and they end up in the wash and the vicious cycle starts all over again.

Prego/ postpartum underwear. Same as comfy granny underwear but in size XXXXXL. If you try wearing them when not pregnant, they look like shorts. My MIL folded the laundry before and mistook them for my husband's because they were THAT big. Wonder what she was thinking folding pink underwear in my husband's underwear pile.

Emergency prego/ postpartum underwear. These are the kind you DO NOT want to be caught dead in. These are the kind my grandmother warned me about when she used to tell me to always wear clean underwear in case I'm in an accident and rushed to the hospital. These are the kind that if you were in an accident, you wished they'd just leave you there at the scene because you'll die of embarrassment anyway later if you're stripped from your clothes. Why I still have them is beyond me because I'm not pregnant anymore. I will throw away this very instant... well, soon after I hit the publish post button.