To Zip or Not to Zip

I was at the Ridgefield's HMart's food court trying to keep my kids seated when the crotch of my pants kept getting caught on the table corners. It was annoying to say the least. By the 3rd or 4th time, I finally looked down and noticed why. My zipper was down. Just great. What do I do? I'm standing in the middle of the food court. Do I zip it back up and possibly bring attention to myself or do I just straighten my pants and lower my shirt as much as possible and just hope no one else noticed. I felt like I was in one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books that I used to read back when I was in grade school. You know the books where the story ends differently based on the choices you make? I used to cheat and read the different endings and chose accordingly. Only if life was that easy, right? Anyway, I chose the latter. I adjusted as best as I can, finished my lunch, and went to the bathroom to zip up my pants.

Great. I happened to be wearing a shirt that was low cut and sort of baggy so that every time I bent over to pick something up, my boobs and belly were showing. I, of course, was unaware of this until I was in the parking lot buckling in Ellen. So not only was I flashing my boobs and stomach in all of it's glory (neither of which are worth showing off in public... or even in private for that matter) but all the foodcourt customers and staff got a glimpse of my pink underoos as well. Good job. The ironic thing was while I was driving there, I remember wishing I brushed my hair in case I ran into someone I knew... which ended up being the least of my concern once I got there.